Unutterably Silly Funny Things My (Insert Relative Here) Told Me

[Skye Savoy]

Here's your chance to share something silly. Every body grew up with old wives tales, myths, funny sayings and phrases- things that make you go I'm working on a compilation and want to include yours. Let me know the phrase, the context in which it was used and how it affected you.

For example, my grandmother used to say that if your nose itched, company was coming. To this day, when my nose itches (which isn't very often), I always expect someone to drop by my office, home, etc.

Let's share some silliness!

[GraceKrispy]

Well, I'm not sure this counts, but when I was about 5, my adult cousin (who is schizophrenic, although I didn't know that at the time), randomly came up to me and said "the holes in your nose are called nostrils" and stared at me. I was so freaked out. I guess it wasn't so much funny as sort of terrifying! I was already scared of him, since he was so incredibly odd and strange to my 5yo sensibilities.

[amward]

My mother used to say always make sure you have on clean underwear with no holes before you go out, in case you're in an accident and get taken to hospital.

I can't believe that anyone would worry about that after an accident but I do change my underwear at least once a day so maybe it had the desired effect

[TGS]

"If things don't alter, they'll stay as they are", encapsulated my mother's accumulated 78 years of wisdom.

[beppe]

If your have a whistle in your ear, somebody is thinking you.

[Skye Savoy]

Originally Posted by GraceKrispy

Well, I'm not sure this counts, but when I was about 5, my adult cousin (who is schizophrenic, although I didn't know that at the time), randomly came up to me and said "the holes in your nose are called nostrils" and stared at me. I was so freaked out. I guess it wasn't so much funny as sort of terrifying! I was already scared of him, since he was so incredibly odd and strange to my 5yo sensibilities.

Wow! I think I'd be a little freaked if someone was close enough to my face to tell me about nostrils.
Thanks for sharing!

[Skye Savoy]

Originally Posted by amward

My mother used to say always make sure you have on clean underwear with no holes before you go out, in case you're in an accident and get taken to hospital.

I can't believe that anyone would worry about that after an accident but I do change my underwear at least once a day so maybe it had the desired effect

Clean undies are a must! So is changing them at least once a day.
Great answers!

[Skye Savoy]

Originally Posted by TGS

"If things don't alter, they'll stay as they are", encapsulated my mother's accumulated 78 years of wisdom.

Your mother only a few years older than mine. I like her way of thinking.
Thanks!

[Skye Savoy]

Originally Posted by beppe

If your have a whistle in your ear, somebody is thinking you.

Mine have been doing that a lot lately. I hope someone is thinking GOOD thoughts about me!
This is perfect! Thanks for sharing.

[encapuchado]

I remember this things from my mom and my maternal granny:

1. If a man sneezes then his mother-in-law is speaking bad about him.
2. If one feels a shiver (or shudder, I'm not sure about the English word) then someone is walking over one's future graveyard.
3. If when eating, the piece of food one is eating falls to the plate before being able to eat it, it is because someone else in the table desired what one is eating.

[Bikeridr]

Originally Posted by encapuchado

2. If one feels a shiver (or shudder, I'm not sure about the English word) then someone is walking over one's future graveyard.

My (Norwegian) mother also says that.

My late grandmother (who lived to see her 91th birthday) said in her older years:
"Not did I know, and not do you know how it is to grow old."

[ardeegee]

Originally Posted by encapuchado

2. If one feels a shiver (or shudder, I'm not sure about the English word) then someone is walking over one's future graveyard.

That one is pretty widely used:

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&s...=goose+walking

3. If when eating, the piece of food one is eating falls to the plate before being able to eat it, it is because someone else in the table desired what one is eating.

Yep, my family, too-- if you drop a piece of food, someone has "begrudged" it.

Other family sayings:

If your right hand is itching, you are going to shake hands with a stranger. If your left hand is itching, you are going to come into money.

If your ears are ringing, someone is talking about you (that is another common one.)

A cure for asthma in a child is to stand him/her against a tree and drive in a nail above their head-- when they grow past the level of the nail, the asthma will be cured (my grandmother did that with me (that one isn't original to my family either.)

[lestatar]

From a hipster, black-sheep but uber-cool uncle:
If your cigarette burns only on one side [unevenly], the very last girl you talked to is thinking some nice thoughts about you...

<it ain't always so...>

[dreams]

If your ears are ringing, someone is talking about you (that is another common one.)

We were always told, "If your ears are burning, someone is talking about you."

[ardeegee]

Originally Posted by dreams

We were always told, "If your ears are burning, someone is talking about you."

Actually, that might have been it. But I don't recall if my ears have ever "burned."