Other Fiction Jerome, Jerome K.: Paul Kelver . v1. 19 June 2012

[GrannyGrump]

By the author of “Three Men in a Boat,” “Three Men on the Bummel,” “Diary of a Pilgrimage,” “Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow,” “Stage-Land,” etc. First published 1902.

“Paul Kelver” is believed to be an autobiographical novel. Perhaps because it was so much “from the heart”, Jerome considered it to be his best work.

Paul, a shy young boy with loving parents, lives through hard times and better times; then he is left orphaned and penniless in his late teens and must make his own way in the world. Writing in first-person, the narrator sets forth his flaws and foibles with unabashed honesty. There are tales of love and loss; episodes of nostalgia and sadness; even moments of darkness and terror; but much of the book is permeated with a wonderful dry humor. (The chapter titles, couched in old-fashioned language, add a lovely touch.) This book is a must-read for Jerome fans.

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An excerpt:

... now, a gentleman at large, my education could no longer be delayed. To the artist in particular was training—and severe training—an absolute necessity. Recently fashion has changed somewhat, but a quarter of a century ago a genius who did not smoke and drink—and that more than was good for him—would have been dismissed without further evidence as an impostor. About the genius I was hopeful, but at no time positively certain. As regarded the smoking and drinking, so much at least I could make sure of. I set to work methodically, conscientiously. Smoking, experience taught me, was better practised on Saturday nights, Sunday affording me the opportunity of walking off the effects. Patience and determination were eventually crowned with success: I learned to smoke a cigarette to all appearance as though I were enjoying it. Young men of less character might here have rested content, but attainment of the highest has always been with me a motive force. The cigarette conquered, I next proceeded to attack the cigar. My first one I remember well: most men do. It was at a smoking concert held in the Islington Drill Hall, to which Minikin had invited me. Not feeling sure whether my growing dizziness were due solely to the cigar, or in part to the hot, over-crowded room, I made my excuses and slipped out. I found myself in a small courtyard, divided from a neighbouring garden by a low wall. The cause of my trouble was clearly the cigar. My inclination was to take it from my mouth and see how far I could throw it. Conscience, on the other hand, urged me to persevere. It occurred to me that if climbing on to the wall I could walk along it from end to end, there would be no excuse for my not heeding the counsels of perfection. If, on the contrary, try as I might, the wall proved not wide enough for my footsteps, then I should be entitled to lose the beastly thing, and, as best I could, make my way home to bed. I attained the wall with some difficulty and commenced my self-inflicted ordeal. Two yards further I found myself lying across the wall, my legs hanging down one side, my head overhanging the other. The position proving suitable to my requirements, I maintained it. Inclination, again seizing its opportunity, urged me then and there to take a solemn vow never to smoke again. I am proud to write that through that hour of temptation I remained firm; strengthening myself by whispering to myself: “Never despair. What others can do, so can you. Is not all victory won through suffering?”

A liking for drink I had found, if possible, even yet more difficult of achievement. Spirits I almost despaired of. Once, confusing bottles, I drank some hair oil in mistake for whiskey, and found it decidedly less nauseous. But twice a week I would force myself to swallow a glass of beer, standing over myself insisting on my draining it to the bitter dregs. As reward afterwards, to take the taste out of my mouth, I would treat myself to chocolates; at the same time comforting myself by assuring myself that it was for my good, that there would come a day when I should really like it, and be grateful to myself for having been severe with myself.

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A favorite short quote of this grumpy person:

... grumbled my aunt, “if it wasn’t for cantankerous, disagreeable people like me, gentle, patient people like you wouldn’t get any practice.”

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Sadly, this one is not available with illustrations.
Decorative fonts for chapter heads and drop-caps, plain-cap version uses large caps instead.

I hope you enjoy this one.

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[GA Russell]

Granny, my jetBook Lite has problems with very large files, so I have been skipping the ones with illustrations.

I'm delighted to see that you weren't able to find illustrations for this one!

Thanks for your efforts for all of the Jerome works!

[GrannyGrump]

Why, thank you, I hope you are enjoying the books!

I had not considered that file-size might be a problem for some.
I wonder if I should consider uploading non-illustrated versions ???

[GA Russell]

Granny, the non-illustrated would certainly be of benefit to me!

[Jellby]

Did you try simply deleting the image files from the ePub? It will become a non-valid ePub file, but the jetBook will maybe not care.

[GA Russell]

Jellby, I think that's above my abilities!

[Jellby]

I don't think so. Just open (a copy of) the ePub in any zip-like program (WinZip, WinRar, 7-Zip...) and delete the image files, or those that are too large. Do not make any other change.