Other Fiction Jerome, Jerome K.: Novel Notes (Illustrated). v3. 12 June 2012

[GrannyGrump]

By the author of “Three Men in a Boat,” “Three Men on the Bummel,” “Diary of a Pilgrimage,” “Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow,” “Stage-Land,” etc. (First published 1893)

Jerome is very hard to explain, to those who haven't read him. He is unique. He is, of course, wryly, ludicrously, helplessly funny. His style is replete with the usual digressions, tangents, shaggy dog stories that some man in a pub told him and quiet, wry, entirely modern observations on the state of the world. “Novel Notes” is no different from usual in this regard. (Also as per usual, it's hard to tell whether it's fiction, autobiography or some peculiar blend thereof.) But it has a harder core than some of his other work. Read “Three Men in a Boat,” read “Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow,” for Jerome at his best, or at least, his most jaw-crackingly hilarious - for this book, good fun though it is, is a little more poignant. His flights into sad sentimentality, which feel pasted-on elsewhere, seem to fit better into the narrative here, and the framing story of how Jerome and three of his friends failed to write a novel is not, in itself, as funny as it sounds at the outset - there's a wistful air of irresolution to the whole thing. A good, fun book, but a little sadder than you might expect. (LibraryThing review by "Raven.")

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An excerpt from Chapter 6, discussing cats:

“Then note an old Tom, slinking home in the early morning, after a night spent on a roof of bad repute. Can you picture to yourself a living creature less eager to attract attention? ‘Dear me,’ you can all but hear it saying to itself, ‘I’d no idea it was so late; how time does go when one is enjoying oneself. I do hope I shan’t meet any one I know — very awkward, it’s being so light.’

“In the distance it sees a policeman, and stops suddenly within the shelter of a shadow. ‘Now what’s he doing there,’ it says, ‘and close to our door too? I can’t go in while he’s hanging about. He’s sure to see and recognise me; and he’s just the sort of man to talk to the servants.’

“It hides itself behind a post and waits, peeping cautiously round the corner from time to time. The policeman, however, seems to have taken up his residence at that particular spot, and the cat becomes worried and excited.

“‘What’s the matter with the fool?’ it mutters indignantly; ‘is he dead? Why don’t he move on, he’s always telling other people to. Stupid ass.’

“Just then a far-off cry of ‘milk’ is heard, and the cat starts up in an agony of alarm. ‘Great Scott, hark at that! Why, everybody will be down before I get in. Well, I can’t help it. I must chance it.’

“He glances round at himself, and hesitates. ‘I wouldn’t mind if I didn’t look so dirty and untidy,’ he muses; ‘people are so prone to think evil in this world.’

“‘Ah, well,’ he adds, giving himself a shake, ‘there’s nothing else for it, I must put my trust in Providence, it’s pulled me through before: here goes.’

“He assumes an aspect of chastened sorrow, and trots along with a demure and saddened step. It is evident he wishes to convey the idea that he has been out all night on work connected with the Vigilance Association, and is now returning home sick at heart because of the sights that he has seen.

“He squirms in, unnoticed, through a window, and has just time to give himself a hurried lick down before he hears the cook’s step on the stairs. When she enters the kitchen he is curled up on the hearthrug, fast asleep. The opening of the shutters awakes him. He rises and comes forward, yawning and stretching himself.

“‘Dear me, is it morning, then?’ he says drowsily. ‘Heigh-ho! I’ve had such a lovely sleep, cook; and such a beautiful dream about poor mother.’

“Cats, do you call them? Why, they are Christians in everything except the number of legs.”

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Heavily illustrated --- 140 quarter-page and half-page images.
Embedded fonts for chapter heads and drop-caps.
NOTE-- drop-caps were sized and aligned using my Sony PRS-TI, and I don't know if these settings will work well elsewhere.
The "No-wrap" version centers all images, and uses simple large caps.
The Project Gutenberg EPUB source file has two spaces between sentences, and I retained those.

Please do let me know if you have suggestions or corrections, thanks. I hope you enjoy it.

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EDIT--- uploaded version 2, with errors corrected.
Previous downloads 50 // 25, and not usable for any reader, I am so sorry.

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EDIT 12 JUNE --- uploaded version 3, with final error correction.
Previous downloads for v2 11 // 8.

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[Jellby]

Lots of FlightCrew (validation) errors on this, mostly about images being reachable but not manifested, or the opposite. It looks like you changed the file names but didn't change the manifest, or something like that.

[GrannyGrump]

Thank you, Jellby. I think I re-named a working file instead of the final version.

I have uploaded corrected versions, but there is still one validation error that there is a reference in the epub, but the item is not found in the opf file. There is no kind of clue to tell me what that mystery item is.

My most sincere apologies to readers who got the first version with missing images!!!

[Jellby]

It's probably this line in toc.xhtml:

    <p class="ptoc"><a href="../Text/#dedicate">—Dedication</a></p>

it should say href="../Text/dedication.xhtml#dedicat"

[GrannyGrump]

Once more, Jellby comes to the rescue! I did not know where to start searching for the problem....

Version 3 uploaded, with that final error fixed. I hope it is all ok now.