11-06-2018, 12:34 PM | #10306 |
Handy Elephant
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Location: Southern Sweden, far out in the quiet woods
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Ban pre-shredded cheese.
Make America grate again! |
11-06-2018, 03:31 PM | #10307 |
Grand Sorcerer
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Location: Harrisburg outskirts
Device: Palms, K1-4s, iPads, iPhones, KV, KO1
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11-07-2018, 04:03 PM | #10308 |
Is that a sandwich?
Posts: 8,220
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Device: Nook Glowlight Plus
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What’s the most unreliable form of communication and how do I get my relatives to start using it?
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11-08-2018, 05:54 AM | #10309 |
The Couch Potato
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A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but didn't want to spend a lot of money. "How much do they cost?" he asked the salesman.
"Anything from $2 to $2,000." "Can I see the $2 model?" said the customer. The salesman put the device around the man's neck, and said: "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down into your pocket." "How does it work?" asked the customer. "For $2, it doesn't work," said the salesman. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder." |
11-08-2018, 05:58 AM | #10310 |
Handy Elephant
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I invented a new word a few days ago!
Plagiarism. |
11-08-2018, 04:35 PM | #10311 |
Is that a sandwich?
Posts: 8,220
Karma: 101696762
Join Date: Jun 2010
Device: Nook Glowlight Plus
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She wanted to meet again. I told her I don’t water dead flowers.
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11-09-2018, 06:03 AM | #10312 |
The Couch Potato
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Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
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11-09-2018, 06:04 PM | #10313 |
Is that a sandwich?
Posts: 8,220
Karma: 101696762
Join Date: Jun 2010
Device: Nook Glowlight Plus
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I’m so hungry I could eat a vegetable.
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11-10-2018, 05:12 AM | #10314 |
The Couch Potato
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Silence is golden...
Unless you have children... If that is the case, silence is suspicious. |
11-10-2018, 07:39 AM | #10315 |
Handy Elephant
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It's bad, you know.
She asked me why? I just went on and told her... [R. L. Burnside] |
11-10-2018, 11:35 PM | #10316 |
Is that a sandwich?
Posts: 8,220
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Device: Nook Glowlight Plus
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I just want to be rich enough that I can buy my furniture already assembled.
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11-11-2018, 12:18 AM | #10317 |
Handy Elephant
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If you start selling furniture in flat packs, you may become that rich.
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11-12-2018, 12:42 AM | #10318 |
Is that a sandwich?
Posts: 8,220
Karma: 101696762
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Device: Nook Glowlight Plus
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Red Bull and vodka. Because you want to be wide awake for this mistake.
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11-12-2018, 04:27 AM | #10319 |
Handy Elephant
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In Sweden the mountains aren't funny.
They are hill areas. |
11-12-2018, 05:04 AM | #10320 |
The Couch Potato
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Geography of a Woman:
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa - half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful. Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe - well developed and open to trade, especially for something of real value. Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain - very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty. Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece - gently aging, but still a warm and desirable place to visit. Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain - with a glorious and all-conquering past. Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel - has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice and takes care of business. Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada - cool, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people. After 70, she becomes Tibet - wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages ... an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge. Geography of a man: Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran - ruled by a couple of nuts. |
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