06-27-2023, 04:52 PM | #61 |
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In 2009, the Guinness Book of World records named Jonathan Lee Riches the record-holder for suing the largest number of people. Angrily declaring that the Guinness Book “has no right to publish my work, my legal masterpieces,” he sued them.
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06-27-2023, 05:24 PM | #62 |
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What do you call a smug criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending. Last edited by poohbear_nc; 06-27-2023 at 07:07 PM. Reason: typo |
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06-27-2023, 05:54 PM | #63 |
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Three vampires walk into a bar.
The first one says, "I'll have a pint of blood." The second one says, "I'll have one, too." The third one says, "I'll have a pint of plasma." The bartender says, "So, that'll be two Bloods and a Blood Lite?" |
06-27-2023, 07:19 PM | #64 |
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Emily had been to school for the first time. When asked what she had learned, she sighed, hopelessly. “Nuffin’. I’ve got to go back tomorrow.”
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06-28-2023, 12:30 AM | #65 |
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"Why did you quit your job at the bank?"
"I lost interest." |
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06-28-2023, 03:37 PM | #66 |
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Comment about the US: Sometimes as a Canadian, it feels like we are living in an apartment above a meth lab.
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06-28-2023, 03:43 PM | #67 |
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06-28-2023, 03:44 PM | #68 |
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What job does a tree have?
Branch manager. |
06-28-2023, 05:31 PM | #69 |
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Why did the turkey decide to cross the road?
To prove that he wasn’t a chicken! |
06-28-2023, 06:46 PM | #70 |
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
If they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels. |
06-28-2023, 07:02 PM | #71 |
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My IQ test results came back.
They were negative. |
06-28-2023, 09:15 PM | #72 |
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A man orders a dozen bees, and the beekeeper scoops them into a box. When the man counts them, he finds there are 13 in the box. He tells the beekeeper, who replies, "it’s okay, it’s a freebie!"
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06-29-2023, 04:53 AM | #73 |
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I'm beginning to worry that I have poor decision making and impulse control skills. No matter how long and how carefully I examine choices of vacation accommodation providers, every single time, my ultimate pick turns out to be
my last resort |
06-29-2023, 04:45 PM | #74 |
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The editor of a Vermont weekly sent to one Hiram Sparks a notice that his subscription had expired. The notice came back with the laconic scrawl: “So’s Hiram.”
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06-29-2023, 07:12 PM | #75 |
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A scarecrow won an award for being outstanding in his field!
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