Silliness Terrible Jokes - Page 4

ownedbycats · 06-16-2023, 06:17 PM

Freddie Mercury and Bruno Mars walk into a bar together. But they didn't planet.

ownedbycats · 06-16-2023, 06:21 PM

People should stop arguing about Sisyphus. It always goes downhill.

DNSB · 06-16-2023, 11:10 PM

Did you hear

…about the veterinarian who prescribes birth-control pills for dogs? It’s part of an anti-litter campaign.

ownedbycats · 06-19-2023, 03:55 AM

A fish swam into a wall and yelled "Dam!"

DNSB · 06-19-2023, 10:36 PM

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

ownedbycats · 06-19-2023, 11:17 PM

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

"Supplies!"

timebug · 06-20-2023, 04:11 AM

What is brown and sticky?

A Stick!

DNSB · 06-20-2023, 02:18 PM

A young mother paying a visit to her doctor, made no attempt to restrain her five*-year-*old son, who was ransacking an adjoining treatment room. But finally an extra-*loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, “I hope, doctor, you don’t mind Billy being in your examining room.”

“No,” said the doctor calmly. “He’ll be quiet in a moment when he gets to the poisons.”

ownedbycats · 06-21-2023, 07:27 PM

Two chemists walked into a bar.

The first one said "I'll have a glass of H2O."

The second one said "H2O, too." He gulped down his drink and died.

DNSB · 06-22-2023, 02:17 AM

After writing a speech for class, my daughter asked for input. I listened to her talk about sexually transmitted diseases, then gave my opinion.

“It’s great,” I said. “There’s one sentence in particular that I like.”

“Which one?” she asked.

“The one where you write, ‘The only way other than abstinence to be sure that you will not contract an STD is to remain in a monotonous relationship.'”

ownedbycats · 06-22-2023, 07:50 AM

Fruit truck overturns on highway, results in jam.

DNSB · 06-22-2023, 03:21 PM

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

ownedbycats · 06-23-2023, 04:18 AM

The last free tire-refilling station was replaced by a pay one.

Inflation.

DNSB · 06-23-2023, 03:51 PM

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

ownedbycats · 06-27-2023, 09:02 AM

How do you stop a bull from charging?

Take away its batteries.

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06-16-2023, 06:17 PM	#46
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 9,563 Karma: 64960981 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	Freddie Mercury and Bruno Mars walk into a bar together. But they didn't planet.

06-16-2023, 06:21 PM	#47
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 9,563 Karma: 64960981 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	People should stop arguing about Sisyphus. It always goes downhill.

06-16-2023, 11:10 PM	#48
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 40,570 Karma: 157444380 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Did you hear …about the veterinarian who prescribes birth-control pills for dogs? It’s part of an anti-litter campaign.

06-19-2023, 03:55 AM	#49
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 9,563 Karma: 64960981 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	A fish swam into a wall and yelled "Dam!"

06-19-2023, 10:36 PM	#50
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 40,570 Karma: 157444380 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

06-19-2023, 11:17 PM	#51
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 9,563 Karma: 64960981 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? "Supplies!"

06-20-2023, 04:11 AM	#52
timebug Ancient Sage Posts: 14,585 Karma: 15493448 Join Date: Oct 2015 Location: Derby U.K. Device: Kobo Reader	What is brown and sticky? A Stick!

06-20-2023, 02:18 PM	#53
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 40,570 Karma: 157444380 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	A young mother paying a visit to her doctor, made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining treatment room. But finally an extra-*loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, “I hope, doctor, you don’t mind Billy being in your examining room.” “No,” said the doctor calmly. “He’ll be quiet in a moment when he gets to the poisons.”

06-21-2023, 07:27 PM	#54
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 9,563 Karma: 64960981 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	Two chemists walked into a bar. The first one said "I'll have a glass of H2O." The second one said "H2O, too." He gulped down his drink and died.

06-22-2023, 02:17 AM	#55
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 40,570 Karma: 157444380 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	After writing a speech for class, my daughter asked for input. I listened to her talk about sexually transmitted diseases, then gave my opinion. “It’s great,” I said. “There’s one sentence in particular that I like.” “Which one?” she asked. “The one where you write, ‘The only way other than abstinence to be sure that you will not contract an STD is to remain in a monotonous relationship.'”

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06-22-2023, 07:50 AM	#56
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 9,563 Karma: 64960981 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	Fruit truck overturns on highway, results in jam.

06-22-2023, 03:21 PM	#57
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 40,570 Karma: 157444380 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

06-23-2023, 04:18 AM	#58
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 9,563 Karma: 64960981 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	The last free tire-refilling station was replaced by a pay one. Inflation.

06-23-2023, 03:51 PM	#59
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 40,570 Karma: 157444380 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

06-27-2023, 09:02 AM	#60
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 9,563 Karma: 64960981 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	How do you stop a bull from charging? Take away its batteries.