Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 360

EZPuzzler · 09-23-2012, 12:28 AM

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica ?
Where do they go? Wonder no more!

It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its off spring throughout life.

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their beaks and vestigial wings, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried.

The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:

"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
"Freeze a jolly good fellow."

Then they kick him in the ice hole.

Stitchawl · 09-23-2012, 04:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EZPuzzler

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica ?
Where do they go? Wonder no more!

I knew there was going to be a joke ending, (by the way, good one!) but I couldn't stop reading... Where DO dead penguins go? Is there a secrete penguin burial ground like they have for elephants? And how come there are no cat skeletons up in trees where they get stuck?

Stitchawl

icantbebothered · 09-23-2012, 03:35 PM

There is a penguin burial ground:

Spoiler:

wodin · 09-23-2012, 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Quake1028

Those pirate jokes are ARRRRRful

.

Having served for 23 years and retiring from the US Navy, I now work for the Army. I like to go around saying ARRRRGH! When the solders ask me what I mean I say "That's Navy for HOOAH!"

Fbone · 09-24-2012, 02:33 AM

One goldfish says to the other, "If there's no God, who changes our water every week?"

Fbone · 09-24-2012, 10:37 PM

Which one of these is the non-smoking lifeboat?

Fbone · 09-25-2012, 03:30 PM

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

steven522 · 09-25-2012, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

I come here looking for a joke to brighten my day and I see this! I'm so upset now, I have to go and try to calm down! Where's that box of Twinkies?!?!

Freeshadow · 09-25-2012, 08:26 PM

Why are pickup lines called so, when the purpose is contrary?
Shouldn't they rather be called lay-lines?

Fbone · 09-26-2012, 02:41 PM

I'm one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.

Bookpossum · 09-27-2012, 01:31 AM

A woman went to the doctor's office where she was seen by one of the younger doctors.
After about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming as she ran down the hall.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room.

The older doctor marched down the hallway back to where the young doctor was writing on his clipboard.

"What the hell is the matter with you?!" the older doctor demanded. “Mrs. Terry is 71 years old, has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"

The younger doctor continued writing and without looking up said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"

Fbone · 09-27-2012, 08:25 PM

I was more nervous than a ceiling fan store owner with a comb-over.

Kumabjorn · 09-28-2012, 02:40 AM

And I'm more nervous than a repairman for wind turbines in a tropical storm.

orlok · 09-28-2012, 05:18 AM

My wife told me she's loving me because I don't listen to her properly.

Fbone · 09-28-2012, 01:15 PM

If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're built upside down.

09-23-2012, 03:35 PM	#5388
icantbebothered Penguin Posts: 1,017 Karma: 4742434 Join Date: Jul 2012 Device: Kindle Touch 5.3.2.1	There is a penguin burial ground: Spoiler: http://coolantarctica.com/penguins/e...uin_huddle.htm Last edited by icantbebothered; 09-23-2012 at 04:31 PM.

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09-23-2012, 12:28 AM	#5386
EZPuzzler Connoisseur Posts: 55 Karma: 475060 Join Date: May 2009 Device: Nexus 7, Sony T2	Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica ? Where do they go? Wonder no more! It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its off spring throughout life. If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their beaks and vestigial wings, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried. The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing: "Freeze a jolly good fellow." "Freeze a jolly good fellow." Then they kick him in the ice hole.

09-24-2012, 02:33 AM	#5390
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,230 Karma: 101696762 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	One goldfish says to the other, "If there's no God, who changes our water every week?"

09-24-2012, 10:37 PM	#5391
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,230 Karma: 101696762 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Which one of these is the non-smoking lifeboat?

09-25-2012, 03:30 PM	#5392
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,230 Karma: 101696762 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

09-25-2012, 08:26 PM	#5394
Freeshadow temp. out of service Posts: 2,803 Karma: 24285242 Join Date: May 2010 Location: Duisburg (DE) Device: PB 623	Why are pickup lines called so, when the purpose is contrary? Shouldn't they rather be called lay-lines?

09-26-2012, 02:41 PM	#5395
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,230 Karma: 101696762 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I'm one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.

09-27-2012, 01:31 AM	#5396
Bookpossum Snoozing in the sun Posts: 10,138 Karma: 115423645 Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Melbourne, Australia Device: iPad Mini, Kobo Touch	A woman went to the doctor's office where she was seen by one of the younger doctors. After about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched down the hallway back to where the young doctor was writing on his clipboard. "What the hell is the matter with you?!" the older doctor demanded. “Mrs. Terry is 71 years old, has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?" The younger doctor continued writing and without looking up said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"

09-27-2012, 08:25 PM	#5397
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,230 Karma: 101696762 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I was more nervous than a ceiling fan store owner with a comb-over.

09-28-2012, 02:40 AM	#5398
Kumabjorn Basculocolpic Posts: 4,356 Karma: 20181319 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Sweden Device: Kindle 3 WiFi, Kindle 4SO, Kindle for Android, Sony PRS-350 and PRS-T1	And I'm more nervous than a repairman for wind turbines in a tropical storm.

09-28-2012, 05:18 AM	#5399
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	My wife told me she's loving me because I don't listen to her properly.

09-28-2012, 01:15 PM	#5400
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,230 Karma: 101696762 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're built upside down.