06-06-2009, 06:12 PM | #31 |
eReader
Posts: 2,750
Karma: 4968470
Join Date: Aug 2007
Device: Note 5; PW3; Nook HD+; ChuWi Hi12; iPad
|
My essay technique is to divide it into three sections:
Tell them what you're going to say. Say it. Tell them what you said. Introduction, body, conclusion. |
06-06-2009, 07:14 PM | #32 |
Member
Posts: 19
Karma: 108
Join Date: May 2009
Device: computer
|
Also---if proving a thesis, offer 3 proofs for each claim: only one is happenstance...twice is coincidence...three times is proof, and four is boring.
That is, at least, the way I learned it too long ago. |
Advert | |
|
06-06-2009, 11:32 PM | #33 |
.a ribbon around a bomb.
Posts: 639
Karma: 4334
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: sigh... ny
Device: PRS700
|
GRE ESSAY #1
Topic:
“As Charles F. Kettering said, “The price of progress is trouble.”” Method: Present your perspective on an issue. [tab]Society is a living entity that interacts with its environment like any organism. Evolution ensures that species have to adapt to the ever changing environment. Variation comes with specialization and this always leads to more complexity. Therefore, like any object that is highly complex and specialized; there will be corresponding idiosyncratic issues. However, without complexity an organism’s evolution can only go so far and for a society that could lead to stagnation. A society comes together to resolve the new set of issues that comes with an advancement. This promotes further development of improvements; thus allowing progress as a whole and revealing a new set of issues to tackle. [tab]The living and breathing organism that is society changes according to the needs of the individuals participating in it. Humans and all organisms evolve to meet the new needs of the environment. This environment is inclusive of the physical ecosystem and the interactions within it. Since the majority of the interactions are with the latter; the process becomes a positive feedback mechanism. This process will enforce all individuals participating in it to evolve or the individual will be forced to participate in the sidelines. This can be readily seen with the development of computers that led to the conception of the Internet. This created two forms of individuals; the ones who had a handle on the new advances and the ones who did not. [tab]The variation of society is closely tied to the animalistic needs of it. Once the individual’s basic needs, nutrition and shelter, are compromised; the individual will choose to adhere to the new changes in order to ensure its welfare. This is also forces the individual to be accepting of all the associated problems that might come with the new adaptation. The computer was developed to facilitate mathematical computations. The acceptance of this new invention brought about a multitude of societal problems and will be the cause of many more to come in the future. When the computer started being used as a tactical weapon, other countries had no choice but to embrace it and use it as well. This included the need for computer developers, which led to the need of a higher standard in education for generations to come so they know how to handle the new advances. [tab]The new advances in society are accumulated and passed on to the following generation; allowing them to handle the current situation accordingly. These advances are conceived to solve current problems in the life of the individual and if the solution is beneficial, it will be dissipated amongst all members of the species. If this did not occur, not only will there be no more advances; but there will be repetition of livelihoods among generations. This also incubates a society incapable of change and individual thought. When an organism is inflexible it is the most vulnerable to suffer at the hands of a single major environmental change. [tab]An organism accepts change in order to benefit its livelihood, the issues associated with this change further stimulates the organism to adapt. The next generations will be aware of the improvements and benefit from them without having to endure plight of the previously rudimentary lifestyle. They in turn will tackle the current issues thus ensuring that the next generation will not have to face the same concerns. When the computer was developed there were only a handful of individuals who knew the internal workings of it. As the next generation came into maturity it benefited from the knowledge of concept of computational science and concentrated on improving the technology. This information was disseminated to society as a whole and they came to accept it once the computers became essential part in the interactions of society. [tab]Progress is embedded in the blueprint of life. Life that is inflexible to the changes provided by its environment has very little chance to survive and reproduce. It is those organisms that are able to change and pass along the new information that ensure the survival of the species. Progress can be seen as a stimulant rather than an obstruction to society. The new generations will always have very difficult problems to confront, but it will not have to go back and reassess the problems that generations prior have already tackled and solved efficiently. This positive feedback of developments and its new problems ensures that society progresses at a steady pace and that it does not become repetitive. Last edited by Alphapheemail; 06-06-2009 at 11:43 PM. |
06-06-2009, 11:38 PM | #34 |
.a ribbon around a bomb.
Posts: 639
Karma: 4334
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: sigh... ny
Device: PRS700
|
:: phew::
This took me about 90 minutes to complete, from outline to editing. I have to work on that since I only have 45 minutes. I did my best to apply all of the tips from all members and the books i obtained. I would highly appreciate if you could tell me what I have done particularly well as well as the things I didn't since I might not be realizing that I am doing XYZ right. This way I can concentrate on my weakness. I am already extremely grateful to all members that have taken the time out of their day to help me. =D |
06-06-2009, 11:41 PM | #35 |
.a ribbon around a bomb.
Posts: 639
Karma: 4334
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: sigh... ny
Device: PRS700
|
|
Advert | |
|
06-07-2009, 12:00 AM | #36 |
Crab In The Dark
Posts: 486
Karma: 2328180
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Virginia
Device: Tablet PC until a 10" comes out that I like
|
Howdy Okay, writing is not my thing really but I have one suggestion for readability... Those couple of sentences you have which begin with "However" and "Therefore" - those are words that are not needed in those sentences. Usually they're used in the middle of a compound sentence to tie things together. That's about the only contribution I can make. If you were adding those words as a sort of prefix to keep all the sentences from being about the same length, you might take a look at just tieing a couple of the shorter sentences together.
|
06-07-2009, 12:05 AM | #37 |
Crab In The Dark
Posts: 486
Karma: 2328180
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Virginia
Device: Tablet PC until a 10" comes out that I like
|
The exact thing I'm talking about and I can't really describe it would be illustrated like this.
"Variation comes with specialization and this always leads to more complexity. Like any object that is highly complex and specialized there will be corresponding idiosyncratic issues, however without complexity an organism’s evolution can only go so far. For a society that could lead to stagnation." |
06-07-2009, 12:10 AM | #38 | |
.a ribbon around a bomb.
Posts: 639
Karma: 4334
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: sigh... ny
Device: PRS700
|
Quote:
That does sound better? I feel like I should be joining the last two sentences... Without complexity an organism’s evolution can only go so far; for a society that could lead to stagnation. ? |
|
06-07-2009, 12:29 AM | #39 |
Crab In The Dark
Posts: 486
Karma: 2328180
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Virginia
Device: Tablet PC until a 10" comes out that I like
|
I guess what I was saying was that it doesn't read as well with every sentence having the approximate same structure. If you prefer not to have the probably too large sentence in the middle like I first suggested, and I don't blame ya - I'm no writer - you might try restructuring your last compound sentence like this.
Instead of "Without complexity an organism’s evolution can only go so far; for a society that could lead to stagnation." You might try "An organism's evolution can only go so far without complexity and for a society, that could lead to stagnation." Or something like that. Whereever that pesky comma is supposed to go. I always have trouble with those, heh, told ya I'm no writer Last edited by wayspooled; 06-07-2009 at 03:28 PM. |
06-07-2009, 03:11 AM | #40 | |
Wizard
Posts: 3,413
Karma: 13369310
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Launceston, Tasmania
Device: Sony PRS T3, Kobo Glo, Kindle Touch, iPad, Samsung SB 2 tablet
|
Quote:
Regards, Alex |
|
06-07-2009, 03:30 AM | #41 | |
It's about the umbrella
Posts: 25,112
Karma: 56250158
Join Date: Jan 2009
Device: Sony 505| K Fire | KK 3G+Wi-Fi | iPhone 3Gs |Vista 32-bit Hm Prem w/FF
|
Quote:
https://www.mobileread.com/forums/showthread.php?t=48450 |
|
06-08-2009, 01:17 AM | #42 |
Crab In The Dark
Posts: 486
Karma: 2328180
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Virginia
Device: Tablet PC until a 10" comes out that I like
|
Thanks for the karma Just noticed, hehe.. Glad to have helped.
|
06-08-2009, 02:07 AM | #43 | |
Wizard
Posts: 3,413
Karma: 13369310
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Launceston, Tasmania
Device: Sony PRS T3, Kobo Glo, Kindle Touch, iPad, Samsung SB 2 tablet
|
Quote:
Regards, Alex |
|
06-08-2009, 09:38 AM | #44 | |
Punctuation Fetishist
Posts: 557
Karma: 1070000
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: The Bluest Commonwealth In East America
Device: Kindle PW, Nexus 7 (2013), Galaxy S5 phone, Galaxy Tab 4 8.0
|
Quote:
1) Beware (especially in your topic sentence/paragraph above) of mixing metaphors and identity. Society is not a living entity. It's like a living entity. Also be careful of calling society an organism in one place and a species in another. Organisms adapt; species evolve. Keep your analogy clear. 2) You address the Kettering quote obliquely. You should address it directly at some point in the topic paragraph. 3) SHORT WORDS! 4) Shorter sentences, please. Break compound sentences (mea culpa, everyone does it). The basic approach is good. Showing that progress is similar to biological evolution, and therefore is driven by failures is a nice idea. Good Luck, Jack Tingle (who avoided the GREs by walking down the right hallway at the right time and inadvertently getting an MSME) |
|
06-08-2009, 11:22 AM | #45 | |
Provocateur
Posts: 1,859
Karma: 505847
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Columbus, OH
Device: Kindle Touch, Kindle 2, Kindle DX, iPhone 3GS
|
Quote:
It seems like the topic you chose to cover is not one on which you actually have a particular point of view and you're just reciting various points about it. That's fine, but remember your goal: to convince people that while problems come with progress, progress is still a positive or essential. Your sentences should be working towards that goal. I'm not sure if the Kettering quote needs to be in the essay or not; consult the instructions. You need to vary your sentence structure more. You came off too dry and monotonous. You want a more fluid tone, more like conversational debate, not an academic paper. I think the one big flaw in the essay is that in the middle paragraphs, you seem to start every paragraph with the actual point you're trying to make. This is probably the wrong approach. Instead, put that statement at the end of the paragraph, or in the second-to-last sentence, and use the other statements to build up to that, explaining the thought process. Then, remember to reiterate each of those main points in the final concluding paragraph. You've made a good first attempt at an essay, but like someone learning to use a sword for the first time, you're swinging wildly at everything around you. Now you must learn the hone your movements, each one with a specific purpose in mind. |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
Assistance sur le FORUM. | Wapata | Assistance | 8 | 11-28-2010 07:18 AM |
Assistance with Plucker Please | Palmbaby | Reading and Management | 7 | 04-15-2006 03:39 AM |