What are you currently writing?

[Steven Lyle Jordan]

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[morriss003]

I wrote the synopsis for a new book, The Werewolves of Antarctica. What do you think?

"Their investigations lead them to a group of werewolves. They discover that werewolves evolved millions of years ago in what is now Antarctica. The werewolves almost became extinct because of what the surviving werewolves regard as a despicable act; a sexual encounter between a werewolf and a primate. A disease was passed to the werewolf population, and this disease became airborne wiping out all of the werewolves except for a few explorers who were not in contact with the werewolf civilization. The remains of that civilization are now buried under tons of ice."

[desertgrandma]

Originally Posted by morriss003

I wrote the synopsis for a new book, The Werewolves of Antarctica. What do you think?

"Their investigations lead them to a group of werewolves. They discover that werewolves evolved millions of years ago in what is now Antarctica. The werewolves almost became extinct because of what the surviving werewolves regard as a despicable act; a sexual encounter between a werewolf and a primate. A disease was passed to the werewolf population, and this disease became airborne wiping out all of the werewolves except for a few explorers who were not in contact with the werewolf civilization. The remains of that civilization are now buried under tons of ice."

The word "werewolf' is used way too often.

[Moejoe]

Originally Posted by morriss003

I wrote the synopsis for a new book, The Werewolves of Antarctica. What do you think?

"Their investigations lead them to a group of werewolves. They discover that werewolves evolved millions of years ago in what is now Antarctica. The werewolves almost became extinct because of what the surviving werewolves regard as a despicable act; a sexual encounter between a werewolf and a primate. A disease was passed to the werewolf population, and this disease became airborne wiping out all of the werewolves except for a few explorers who were not in contact with the werewolf civilization. The remains of that civilization are now buried under tons of ice."

I like it! You put any monster together with snow and you've got me reading. Something about snow that contrasts starkly with the darker aspects of the monster. I think it may be subconcious, at least on my part.

Plus you've got werewolves, and I'm a sucker for anything with Werewolf in the title

[jaxx6166]

I agree with grandma. It kind of turned me off. What you have is an interesting premise, nowhere near a synposes.

This makes me think of 30/30 (and the horrible josh hartnett adaptation)

If you could post more and flesh it out a little more, it may catch my attention again.

Best of luck!

[Moejoe]

Originally Posted by jaxx6166

I agree with grandma. It kind of turned me off. What you have is an interesting premise, nowhere near a synposes.

This makes me think of 30/30 (and the horrible josh hartnett adaptation)

If you could post more and flesh it out a little more, it may catch my attention again.

Best of luck!

I enjoyed 30 Days of Night immensely, along with Let the Right One In, they were two of my favorite films over the last few years. Strangely enough, I didn't like the comics at all (not a big comic fan to start with) and I thought the novel spinoff was terrible.

And to your other point, it all depends on what type of writer the original poster is. For a lot of writers that is all they'll need and no more than a page at most. Some don't even have that before they start writing (Stephen King, I'm looking at you)

[jaxx6166]

If all he needs is the little blurb and the jump off from there, then I give all him kudos.

The problem is trying to explain it to 3242343453 other people that may not have any idea what else is next.

I'm sure as it develops further it could catch my attention again.

[Moejoe]

Originally Posted by jaxx6166

If all he needs is the little blurb and the jump off from there, then I give all him kudos.

The problem is trying to explain it to 3242343453 other people that may not have any idea what else is next.

I'm sure as it develops further it could catch my attention again.

But isn't what was written exactly the kind of blurb you'd find on the back of a book, or near enough as damn? It peeked my interest immediately, had me thinking of a Thing-like race of Werewolves forgotten by time and what could happen after they'd been released from their icy tomb. I suppose it's all about different approaches to fiction and how they fit with us.

I remember an interview with Ed McBain (RIP) talking about how he wrote his stories, and forgiving the pararphrasing, but he said:

I start with a dead body on page one and just follow what happens from there in

I can understand if it didn't tickle your fancy, but I reckon there's a lot of slack in writing and it all comes down to personal preference in the end.

To the OP, I'd love to know more about the story and what you hope to do with it. Will it have that Thing-esque feel? Or will you discover what happens as you write?

[morriss003]

What you have is an interesting premise, nowhere near a synposes.

It's quite a bit longer than what I posted, but I felt a little uncomfortable taking up a lot of room here. I'm not sure that this is the appropriate place to post the entire synopsis. I'm new here.

[Moejoe]

Originally Posted by morriss003

It's quite a bit longer than what I posted, but I felt a little uncomfortable taking up a lot of room here. I'm not sure that this is the appropriate place to post the entire synopsis. I'm new here.

Hey there, Morriss003, everyone's new at sometime or another Why not start up a new thread and post your synopsis? Or if you're not comfortable with that, give us an expanded idea of the story and where you hope to go with it, where the idea came from and all that juicy stuff?

Oh, and welcome, if I didn't say it earlier

[jaxx6166]

Morris -

You have no reason to feel uncomfortable here. For the most part, everyone I've dealt with on this forum is very helpful. And if you want an honest critique, you're sure to get one from myself, Moejoe, or the good Dr.

I hope I didn't intimidate you or turn you off in any way.

Please. Please don't feel uncomfortable here. =)

I like Moe's idea. Start a new thread. Several others have started their own threads for their individual works. I like using mine for TPR as sort of a blog to keep me challenged and keep the subscribers informed.

[Moejoe]

Originally Posted by jaxx6166

Morris -

You have no reason to feel uncomfortable here. For the most part, everyone I've dealt with on this forum is very helpful. And if you want an honest critique, you're sure to get one from myself, Moejoe, or the good Dr.

I hope I didn't intimidate you or turn you off in any way.

Please. Please don't feel uncomfortable here. =)

Couldn't have said it better myself. We're all writer's or writers-in-waiting in Writer's Corner We've got to band together or Stephen King will sneak into our beds and devour us while we sleep!

[morriss003]

Here the synopsis to, The Werewolves of Antarctica.

The Werewolves of Antarctica

by

Stan Morris

Synopsis

A man working at a blood bank gets a call in the middle of the night. A hospital needs some blood STAT. He drives to the blood bank, get the packets of blood and drives to the hospital. He delivers the blood. Before he leaves, he stops to talk to a nurse in whom he is interested. As they are speaking, they hear a blood curdling scream from ER. They rush into the room, and they witness the transformation of the patient from a human to a werewolf. The patient dies.

Stunned the man returns to the blood bank, not realizing that it was the blood that caused the transformation. Upon his arrival, he discovers that someone has broken into the blood bank and has stolen some of the packets of blood.

He begins to suspect the truth. The hospital at the order of the authorities cover up the truth, but the nurse discovers the truth and notifies the man from the blood bank who she has started dating. Together they investigate.

Their investigations lead them to a group of werewolves. They discover that werewolves evolved eons ago in what is now Antarctica. The werewolves almost became extinct because of what the surviving werewolves regard as a despicable act; a sexual encounter between a werewolf and a primate. A disease was passed to the werewolf population and this disease became airborne wiping out all of the werewolves except for a few explorers who were not in contact with the werewolf civilization. The remains of that civilization are now buried under tons of ice.

They discover that one of the werewolves is trying to develop a disease that it will introduce into the human population. It's goal is the extermination of the human race so that werewolves can safely repopulate the earth, but it's reason is revenge for the killing of the werewolf's family. The man, the woman, and a group of werewolves opposed to the monstrous plan travel the earth in search of the evil werewolf. Their travels eventually take them to Antarctica where the final encounter takes place.

[jaxx6166]

NOW!!! You've got my interest. =)

My only criticism is that you need to be careful with repeating the same word so many times... .. IMO, it becomes distracting.

Thank you so much Morris!

[Moejoe]

Originally Posted by jaxx6166

NOW!!! You've got my interest. =)

My only criticism is that you need to be careful with repeating the same word so many times... .. IMO, it becomes distracting.

Thank you so much Morris!

Yes, a lot more meat on those bones Good grab-you-by-the-throat opening, stakes rise logically, and there's a bigger-than-life outcome if the protagonist doesn't defeat the antagonist.

Bit of tightening here and there, name your characters, and you're off to a flying start