04-07-2024, 04:31 PM | #376 |
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A hundred years ago, everyone had horses and cars were for the rich.
Today, everyone has cars and horses are for the rich. The stables have turned. |
04-07-2024, 04:36 PM | #377 |
want to learn what I want
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Dad: Do you think the world just revolves around you?!
Son: Well I am a son. |
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04-07-2024, 10:57 PM | #378 |
Bibliophagist
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04-21-2024, 11:58 AM | #379 |
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My parents always told me to work until my bank account looked like a phone number.
Available Balance: $9.11 |
04-22-2024, 03:19 AM | #380 |
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Heard about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve. |
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04-22-2024, 05:41 AM | #381 |
0000000000101010
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Everyone says your 20s are all about finding yourself. If that’s true, your 30s are about wishing you’d found somebody else.
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04-22-2024, 04:35 PM | #382 |
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We spend the first two years of a child's life teaching them to walk and talk. We spend the next 19 years telling them to sit down and shut up.
Last edited by DNSB; 04-23-2024 at 12:22 AM. |
04-23-2024, 12:18 AM | #383 |
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I was out shopping for a candle holder, couldn't find one anywhere. So I bought a birthday cake.
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04-24-2024, 05:57 AM | #384 |
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Why do dogs float in water?
Because they're good buoys. |
04-24-2024, 02:23 PM | #385 |
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In German Prisoner-of-War camps, escapes were a a major problem, so they would try to break the prisoners’ spirits by making them do mindless things. In particular, they would make the prisoners stand in a line and all move their heads like a clock back and forth and say, ‘tick tock tick tock.’
Some prisoners, unable to escape or otherwise change their situation, chose a very subtle rebellion. They would do the head motions, but instead of ‘tick tock tick tock’, they would wait until the guards were further down the line and switch to ‘tick tick tick.’ None of the guards noticed this was going on for many months, until finally, a young lieutenant was caught ticking by a senior SS Captain walking behind the line. The captain stopped the exercise, walked over, face-to-face with the young man, and “A rebel. Vell, don’t vorry, ve have vays of making you tock.’ |
04-25-2024, 08:19 PM | #386 |
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When does a joke turn into a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent! |
04-25-2024, 08:52 PM | #387 |
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The Fish Net Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann? A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.
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04-26-2024, 01:11 AM | #388 |
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If a plant is sad, do other plants photosympathise with it?
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04-26-2024, 10:45 AM | #389 |
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I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.
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04-26-2024, 09:00 PM | #390 |
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Why did the strawberry cry?
He found himself in a jam. |
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awful sense of humour, dad jokes, silliness |
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