03-08-2024, 11:56 PM | #316 |
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03-13-2024, 10:33 PM | #317 |
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Yesterday, I was washing the car with my son.
He said: "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?" |
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03-17-2024, 12:55 AM | #318 |
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I always knock on the fridge door before opening it. You never know when there's a salad dressing.
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03-17-2024, 09:28 PM | #319 |
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I visited a cafe one day with my friends. The waiter recommended that we try their special coffee. We agreed and soon the coffee arrived. As we drink the coffee, we realized that it tastes like dirt and mud. Disgusted by the fact, all of us complained immediately. The alarmed waiter rushes over and says, "Well Sir, it was freshly ground coffee!"
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03-17-2024, 09:33 PM | #320 |
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Free of charge: Dead batteries!
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03-17-2024, 11:53 PM | #321 |
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An SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables, and asks, “Can I join you?”
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03-19-2024, 03:39 PM | #322 |
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03-19-2024, 03:53 PM | #323 |
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What did the boolean say to the integer? “You can’t handle the truth.”
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03-19-2024, 08:00 PM | #324 |
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Writing a horror screenplay.
It starts off with a ringing phone. The person answers, and it's their mum saying "I have a computer question." |
03-19-2024, 08:05 PM | #325 |
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03-20-2024, 12:21 AM | #326 |
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I’ve got a meeting with the guy that invented the progress bar during the era of dialup internet. He’s going to be here in 2 hours and 13 minutes.
Edit: Apparently he’s stuck in traffic and he’s going to be here in 6 hours 54 minutes. Edit2: He’s making better progress than thought, he will be here in 12 minutes. Edit3: Apparently it will now take him 5 days. |
03-20-2024, 12:25 AM | #327 |
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I've been using Vim for years... I can't figure out how to exit.
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03-20-2024, 12:28 AM | #328 |
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I’m not interrupting you, I’m putting our conversation in full-duplex mode.
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03-20-2024, 01:08 AM | #329 |
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How to write regular expressions:
1. Open a text editor. 2. Let your cat play on the keyboard. |
03-20-2024, 01:57 AM | #330 |
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"Help! My cat walked over the keyboard and now everything on my computer is a mess!"
"Let your cat walk over the keyboard backwards, to restore the original state." |
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