What do you think of this working cover?

[Dr. Drib]

Originally Posted by Sirtel

I agree with the amateurish part. My first, instant reaction when I saw it was "self-pub, and pretty amateurish one". I'd scroll on, even if I was in the target audience. It's better in grayscale, but that's usually not where purchasing decisions are made.

Sorry about honesty, but you did ask for it. Yeah, I'd discard it and think of something else. Of course, tastes differ. Maybe there are people out there who find this cover attractive.

The cover will go...and is now GONE! (I mean really gone!)

I'll contact a graphic designer and see what happens. I could send this novella to the publisher that did the cover of my first book, but I'm leery of what they might come up with.

[meeera]

Originally Posted by Dr. Drib

I want honesty, and it's hard to get that on this site (in my opinion). If one has the nerve to promote on this site (then again, in my opinion), one must have the ability to take all helpful and honest criticism.

Honest crit from people you've asked for honest crit from is super important in the creative process.

Just this week I paid a premium price for a pattern from someone who had, by the looks of it - five or six testers at least before publishing. I picked up multiple obvious errors, as well as feeding back the crit to the designer that when charging a premium price the buyer really expects a complete, tech-edited pattern (with full grading, sizing and yardage information and line by line stitch counts). She took it well, we had a nice conversation, and she offered me a free pattern in return for the error check. Those testers had done her no favours by just overlooking the obvious problems.

Good luck with your designer search. (Maybe a nearby design school has students looking for little jobs?)

[Hitch]

Originally Posted by Dr. Drib

The cover will go...and is now GONE! (I man really gone!)

I'll contact a graphic designer and see what happens. I could send this novella to the publisher that did the cover of my first book, but I'm leery of what they might come up with.

I'd also add--for whatever it's worth--that the combo of the character name, Johnny Masturbator, and the kids' crayons, in the cup--that could have had some fairly disturbing overtones and not the "horror" ones you were apparently seeking. Just a thought.

Hitch

[Dr. Drib]

Originally Posted by Hitch

I'd also add--for whatever it's worth--that the combo of the character name, Johnny Masturbator, and the kids' crayons, in the cup--that could have had some fairly disturbing overtones and not the "horror" ones you were apparently seeking. Just a thought.

Hitch

However, it's not actually a horror novella-in-flash work, although I understand (I feel) what you're saying.

[JSWolf]

I'd like to see the next cover if you don't mind.

[Hitch]

Originally Posted by Dr. Drib

However, it's not actually a horror novella-in-flash work, although I understand (I feel) what you're saying.

Well, there's a point too--I can't tell what it is. And yes, I know, you mentioned LitFic (sigh), which means that the cover should not actually say or tell or even nod at, what it's about...but I thought the potential subliminal, not-intended (?) subtext may not be what you were shooting for, either.

Hitch

[Dr. Drib]

Originally Posted by JSWolf

I'd like to see the next cover if you don't mind.

Just to amuse us both, let me see what I can do, although getting a professional to create something is likely the way to go.

[Dr. Drib]

Originally Posted by JSWolf

I'd like to see the next cover if you don't mind.

Here you go. I just finished working this one up.

Notice the title change, as well. Although there is nothing inherently wrong with masturbation (except for getting killed by a speeding bus), I decided to change the title for the potential grandma and grandpa who may be out there looking for something to read other than the Obituary Page in their local newspaper.

[Hitch]

Originally Posted by Dr. Drib

Here you go. I just finished working this one up.

Notice the title change, as well. Although there is nothing inherently wrong with masturbation (except for getting killed by a speeding bus), I decided to change the title for the potential grandma and grandpa who may be out there looking for something to read other than the Obituary Page in their local newspaper.

Well...okay firstly, not readable at thumbnail. Using black text on a grayish background is not really conducive to high-contrast, accessibility-friendly reading. Hell, it's not all that readable at full size, either. If it were me, I'd change that text up to a brighter yellow--in the same family as the duck or the yellow on that bus or whatever, or white. OR a lighter tint of that blue, that's on the camper-truck/bus-thing. Any of those would make it more readable.

The font is also terminally boring. I mean...Times New Roman? Dude. This is meant to be in which genre, informally, inside of LitFic, again? There should be something that could be done to at least hint at the idea, I would think to the reader.

And I'd likely use a nice sans-serif font for the byline. Possibly a Condensed one; I'd need to see the final layout of the title and tagline/subtitle, whatever that bit formally is meant to be.

As far as keeping up with the LitFic idea that covers shouldn't really tell the reader anything, well...on that note, I think you're dead on.

Hitch

[JSWolf]

I cannot stand a blurry background.

The contrast between the black letters is terrible. And again, you the contrast is really poor when it's B&W.

[j.p.s]

Originally Posted by JSWolf

I cannot stand a blurry background.

Nonetheless, intentionally shallow depth of field is a valid technique with a long history.

[Hitch]

Originally Posted by JSWolf

I cannot stand a blurry background.

The contrast between the black letters is terrible. And again, you the contrast is really poor when it's B&W.

Originally Posted by j.p.s

Nonetheless, intentionally shallow depth of field is a valid technique with a long history.

Yes, it is a perfectly valid technique and Jon, that's a matter of personal taste. It's not my own fave, but I've seen it used very effectively. At times.

Hitch

[Dr. Drib]

Thanks, everyone!

I'll get back with another post on Monday. What I'll be doing now is changing 'Masturbator' to 'Pease' and rewriting a short section so that the name change will make sense.

My son and I will be watching the Formula 1 race Sunday, and after that a World Cup game, and then after that I'm being taken out for my Birthday lunch. [71 years old!] -- And to think I was in my mid-50s when I started on Mobileread!

[Hitch]

Originally Posted by Dr. Drib

Thanks, everyone!

I'll get back with another post on Monday. What I'll be doing now is changing 'Masturbator' to 'Pease' and rewriting a short section so that the name change will make sense.

My son and I will be watching the Formula 1 race Sunday, and after that a World Cup game, and then after that I'm being taken out for my Birthday lunch. [71 years old!] -- And to think I was in my mid-50s when I started on Mobileread!

Have fun! (bye, Sebastian Vettel!)

Hitch

[JSWolf]

Originally Posted by Dr. Drib

Thanks, everyone!

I'll get back with another post on Monday. What I'll be doing now is changing 'Masturbator' to 'Pease' and rewriting a short section so that the name change will make sense.

My son and I will be watching the Formula 1 race Sunday, and after that a World Cup game, and then after that I'm being taken out for my Birthday lunch. [71 years old!] -- And to think I was in my mid-50s when I started on Mobileread!

Have a good time. Happy Birthday! 71 is a good age. I'll be 60 next year when it's my birthday.