Unutterably Silly Terrible Jokes

[neil_swann80]

How does the wrestler "The Rock" go to the toilet? He Dwaynes his Johnson.

[DNSB]

A vacationing penguin is driving his through Arizona when he notices that the oil pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.

After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands he makes a real mess trying to eat with his flippers.

After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station. The mechanic looks up and says “Looks like you blew a seal.”

“No no,” the penguin replies, “it’s just ice cream.”

[DNSB]

Why do people love Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus. Unlike Canada’s, which I could take or leaf.

[ownedbycats]

"What are your dog's names?"

"Calvin and Klein."

"Isn't that a brand of underwear?"

"They're Boxers."

[DNSB]

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?

"The man below says, "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field. "

"You must be in IT", says the balloonist.

"I am", replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well", says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's of no use to anyone!"

The man below says, "You must be in management."

"I am", replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."

[ownedbycats]

Originally Posted by DNSB

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?

"The man below says, "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field. "

"You must be in IT", says the balloonist.

"I am", replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well", says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's of no use to anyone!"

The man below says, "You must be in management."

"I am", replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."

There's a missing 'full of hot air' in the punchline there

[DNSB]

How can you tell when they are monitoring your computer?

The power is on and you’re connected to the internet.