07-31-2020, 10:10 PM | #1 |
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Hunting the Bear, and Other Poems
Now available for purchase on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08F13SXYT So you’re probably thinking to yourself: Poetry? People still read that? Isn’t that what musicians with no talent do to convince themselves they’re still better than the hoi polloi? Isn’t modern poetry mostly cryptic free verse nonsense that only makes sense to liberal arts professors high on acid? And you wouldn’t exactly be wrong asking this. But this book isn’t that. This book has rhymes. This book has meter. This book has long narrative poems and short epics. It’s got rants and raves, and even a few jokey poems that I scribbled down on post-it notes out of boredom during breaks at work. This book has narratives poems galore. Poems of mournful lumberjacks and bad-ass revolutionary war battles. Poems of brawling yodelers and midgets who bull fight with chickens. Tales of flinty northern trappers going toe to toe with woolly mammoths, and Navy S.E.A.L.s rewriting the battle of Ragnarök. There are men getting black-out drunk and waking up in Australia, bears being launched by trebuchets, and a man so hungry that he eats a wendigo. There’s poetic tales of swords clashing on shields, and of hunters stalking half-frozen woods. There’s even a poem that may have been written by parallel versions of the author from alternate universes. Or maybe not, the physics is confusing… And there’s cowboy poems. So many cowboy poems. Because who doesn’t like westerns? Bad people, that’s who. You’ll find poems of cowboys helping Santa save Christmas, poems of ranchers fighting off a Lakota siege, poems of undead riders wandering the range to fight supernatural evils, poems of corrupt gunmen finally meeting their match, and poems of fancy ladies with hearts of gold randomly streaking through the prairie wilderness. There’s a whole section of rhyming political rants, conveniently grouped together so you can totally skip over them if you hate my politics (Don’t worry, I won’t be offended, I probably hate yours too!). There are poems that I couldn’t easily categorize so I just lumped them in at the end. Every read a poem about an artificial intelligence that goes mad and commits suicide after seeing all the crap on the internet? Or a poetic ode to a gentleman’s club? Or a tale of a man addicted to the sheer thrill of thunderstorms? It’s all here, along with so much other random stuff that I somehow turned into verse. So why should you buy this? Well, first off, I’ve had people tell me that this is better than Shakespeare. Admittedly, not many people have told me this…and those that did were somewhat drunk. But on the off-chance they were speaking truth (In vino veritas), do you really want to miss out? You could be on the ground floor of something great here, and it’ll only cost you $2.99. That’s couch-cushion money. Why miss out on the chance of being part of something historic when it’s literally less than a dollar? That would be crazy. And you can trust me on that. I’m not just saying it because I’m the author. And should you find any typos or errors, they’re totally intentional editorial choices by the author, because this is poetry, and you can totally do that in poetry. It makes it deeper and more meaningful. And if you don’t buy that…well, it’s only $2.99. You ain’t out much. Besides, this book contains a poem about a woman who may or may not have born Bigfoot’s love child. Do you really want to miss out on that? I know I wouldn’t. |
10-06-2020, 07:55 PM | #2 |
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Poems that mostly rhyme, to help you pass the time...and there's cowboys too. HUNTING THE BEAR, AND OTHER POEMS, available on Amazon!
Last edited by David Welch; 10-07-2020 at 08:53 PM. |
12-06-2020, 02:23 PM | #3 |
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Tired of the free verse? Looking for something with meter and rhyme? Looking for poems that tell stories? They all await inside. HUNTING THE BEAR AND OTHER POEMS, available on Amazon.
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01-01-2021, 11:08 PM | #4 |
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More than 470 poems for less than three dollars. And not fluffly stuff either. Short epic tales, cowboy adventure poems, and much more await inside.
HUNTING THE BEAR, AND OTHER POEMS, available on Amazon. |
04-02-2021, 08:11 PM | #5 |
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Short epics and narratives, all in rhyme. HUNTING THE BEAR AND OTHER POEMS, available on Amazon. Now available in paperback!
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06-26-2021, 05:57 PM | #6 |
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Have you ever read a poem about Bigfoot's love child? There's a poem in here about Bigfoot's love child. Do you really want to miss that?
HUNTING THE BEAR, AND OTHER POEMS, available on Amazon, ebook or paperback. |
10-06-2021, 07:38 PM | #7 |
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Ever read a poem about a man who eats a wendigo? This collection has just such a poem.
HUNTING THE BEAR, AND OTHER POEMS, available from Amazon, ebook or paperback! |
01-14-2022, 09:08 PM | #8 |
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Ever read a poem about wild wooly mammoths running around the Yukon during the gold rush? You will in this book.
HUNTING THE BEAR, AND OTHER POEMS, available from Amazon, ebook or paperback. |
01-15-2022, 11:02 AM | #9 |
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01-21-2022, 08:46 AM | #10 |
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Damn, I was only aware of 16 others! Guess I'm late to the game.
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05-28-2022, 05:40 PM | #11 |
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Ever wondered what the poetry of 'bros' would sound like? You'll find out in here...
HUNTING THE BEAR, AND OTHER POEMS, available on Amazon in ebook and paperback! |
11-17-2022, 08:05 PM | #12 |
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Ever read a poem about the devil running in terror from a small-town sheriff? You will in this collection.
HUNTING THE BEAR, AND OTHER POEMS, available on Amazon, ebook or paperback. |
02-04-2023, 07:00 PM | #13 |
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Ever read a poem about an AI desperate to save the humans? You will in this collection.
HUNTING THE BEAR, AND OTHER POEMS, available on Amazon, ebook or paperback. |
08-19-2023, 04:59 PM | #14 |
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Ever read a poem about a drowning feminist? You will in this collection,
HUNTING THE BEAR, AND OTHER POEMS, available on Amazon, ebook or paperback. |
01-17-2024, 05:44 PM | #15 |
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Have you ever read a poem about Bigfoot's love child? There's a poem in here about Bigfoot's love child. Do you really want to miss that?
HUNTING THE BEAR, AND OTHER POEMS, available on Amazon, ebook or paperback. |
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narratives, new release, poetry |
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