First off... the reason Amazon reset your start point may have nothing to do with this. They typically change the start point to the first "normal" page of text following the ToC. And there's plenty of other super-secret criteria they use, as well it seems. Point being: They're going to start your book where they want your book to start some times.
That said ...
I'm not entirely following the question. You WANT the entry to be in the ToC, in seems, but why exactly do you not want to use the "title" attribute to set the ToC text?
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