Silliness Terrible Jokes - Page 26

ownedbycats · 04-07-2024, 04:31 PM

A hundred years ago, everyone had horses and cars were for the rich.

Today, everyone has cars and horses are for the rich.

The stables have turned.

Comfy.n · 04-07-2024, 04:36 PM

Dad: Do you think the world just revolves around you?!

Son: Well I am a son.

DNSB · 04-07-2024, 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Comfy.n

(i thought tiers was pronounced just like 'tie')

If American, teerz, if British, teeuhz.

Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer?
She kept running away from the ball!

ownedbycats · 04-21-2024, 11:58 AM

My parents always told me to work until my bank account looked like a phone number.

Available Balance: $9.11

DNSB · 04-22-2024, 03:19 AM

Heard about the new restaurant called Karma?

There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.

neil_swann80 · 04-22-2024, 05:41 AM

Everyone says your 20s are all about finding yourself. If that’s true, your 30s are about wishing you’d found somebody else.

DNSB · 04-22-2024, 04:35 PM

We spend the first two years of a child's life teaching them to walk and talk. We spend the next 19 years telling them to sit down and shut up.

neil_swann80 · 04-23-2024, 12:18 AM

I was out shopping for a candle holder, couldn't find one anywhere. So I bought a birthday cake.

ownedbycats · 04-24-2024, 05:57 AM

Why do dogs float in water?

Because they're good buoys.

DNSB · 04-24-2024, 02:23 PM

In German Prisoner-of-War camps, escapes were a a major problem, so they would try to break the prisoners’ spirits by making them do mindless things. In particular, they would make the prisoners stand in a line and all move their heads like a clock back and forth and say, ‘tick tock tick tock.’

Some prisoners, unable to escape or otherwise change their situation, chose a very subtle rebellion. They would do the head motions, but instead of ‘tick tock tick tock’, they would wait until the guards were further down the line and switch to ‘tick tick tick.’

None of the guards noticed this was going on for many months, until finally, a young lieutenant was caught ticking by a senior SS Captain walking behind the line.
The captain stopped the exercise, walked over, face-to-face with the young man, and “A rebel. Vell, don’t vorry, ve have vays of making you tock.’

DNSB · 04-25-2024, 08:19 PM

When does a joke turn into a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent!

Rank Li · 04-25-2024, 08:52 PM

The Fish Net Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann? A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.

DNSB · 04-26-2024, 01:11 AM

If a plant is sad, do other plants photosympathise with it?

neil_swann80 · 04-26-2024, 10:45 AM

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.

DNSB · 04-26-2024, 09:00 PM

Why did the strawberry cry?
He found himself in a jam.

04-22-2024, 04:35 PM	#382
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 35,607 Karma: 145557716 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Forma, Clara HD, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	We spend the first two years of a child's life teaching them to walk and talk. We spend the next 19 years telling them to sit down and shut up. Last edited by DNSB; 04-23-2024 at 12:22 AM.

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04-07-2024, 04:31 PM	#376
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 8,666 Karma: 61234567 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	A hundred years ago, everyone had horses and cars were for the rich. Today, everyone has cars and horses are for the rich. The stables have turned.

04-07-2024, 04:36 PM	#377
Comfy.n want to learn what I want Posts: 1,015 Karma: 6422750 Join Date: Sep 2020 Device: Calibre E-book viewer	Dad: Do you think the world just revolves around you?! Son: Well I am a son.

04-21-2024, 11:58 AM	#379
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 8,666 Karma: 61234567 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	My parents always told me to work until my bank account looked like a phone number. Available Balance: $9.11

04-22-2024, 03:19 AM	#380
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 35,607 Karma: 145557716 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Forma, Clara HD, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Heard about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.

04-22-2024, 05:41 AM	#381
neil_swann80 0000000000101010 Posts: 5,239 Karma: 10057265 Join Date: Mar 2023 Location: An island off the coast of Ireland Device: PB632 [HD3]	Everyone says your 20s are all about finding yourself. If that’s true, your 30s are about wishing you’d found somebody else.

04-23-2024, 12:18 AM	#383
neil_swann80 0000000000101010 Posts: 5,239 Karma: 10057265 Join Date: Mar 2023 Location: An island off the coast of Ireland Device: PB632 [HD3]	I was out shopping for a candle holder, couldn't find one anywhere. So I bought a birthday cake.

04-24-2024, 05:57 AM	#384
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 8,666 Karma: 61234567 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	Why do dogs float in water? Because they're good buoys.

04-24-2024, 02:23 PM	#385
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 35,607 Karma: 145557716 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Forma, Clara HD, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	In German Prisoner-of-War camps, escapes were a a major problem, so they would try to break the prisoners’ spirits by making them do mindless things. In particular, they would make the prisoners stand in a line and all move their heads like a clock back and forth and say, ‘tick tock tick tock.’ Some prisoners, unable to escape or otherwise change their situation, chose a very subtle rebellion. They would do the head motions, but instead of ‘tick tock tick tock’, they would wait until the guards were further down the line and switch to ‘tick tick tick.’ None of the guards noticed this was going on for many months, until finally, a young lieutenant was caught ticking by a senior SS Captain walking behind the line. The captain stopped the exercise, walked over, face-to-face with the young man, and “A rebel. Vell, don’t vorry, ve have vays of making you tock.’

04-25-2024, 08:19 PM	#386
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 35,607 Karma: 145557716 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Forma, Clara HD, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it becomes apparent!

04-25-2024, 08:52 PM	#387
Rank Li Junior Member Posts: 2 Karma: 10 Join Date: Apr 2024 Device: none	The Fish Net Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann? A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.

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04-26-2024, 01:11 AM	#388
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 35,607 Karma: 145557716 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Forma, Clara HD, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	If a plant is sad, do other plants photosympathise with it?

04-26-2024, 10:45 AM	#389
neil_swann80 0000000000101010 Posts: 5,239 Karma: 10057265 Join Date: Mar 2023 Location: An island off the coast of Ireland Device: PB632 [HD3]	I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.

04-26-2024, 09:00 PM	#390
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 35,607 Karma: 145557716 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Forma, Clara HD, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Why did the strawberry cry? He found himself in a jam.