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Personally, I have my spouse's Kobo and mine set up pretty much identically. I do have a custom column in calibre that has 3 values for distinguish between their books, my books and shared books. This allows me to have 3 virtual libraries but simple search in the main library when checking if a "new" book is actually new.
The only patch I use is the one to match font size from ePub to kepub.
The screensaver images and fonts are set up identically allowing us to choose whichever font we prefer. I do use a simplified NickelMenu menu on their Kobo since many of the functions such as starting the Telnet server, kernel version, etc. are not items they would ever use.
For the most part, they are not interested in the nitty-gritty of ebook management so I tend to get books added to my honey-do list which I then purchase & download, cleanup metadata and transfer to their Kobo.
Happy wife, happy life.
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